Divorce

Do you know a couple that you thought were Christians, that got divorced?  Is it possible that Christians divorce without one of them betraying the covenant with adultery?

What could the reasons possibly be for a divorce?  You are unhappy?  Marriage is never a promise of happiness ... in fact the VOWS are the exact opposite.  You love one another no matter what the circumstances.  Did you mean them?  After all, happiness is a decision, and it is certainly not something promised to God's children.  I understand if one or both are not saved, that is a no-brainer.  But clearly divorce is not an option for people who are saved. 

Marriage is supposed to be a covenant for life.  If you can abandon that covenant, then why should God honour His covenant with you to save you?  After all, marriage is an image of the Gospel.

If you don't honour your covenant with your spouse, then why should He honour His covenant with you?

Even some 'pastors' get divorced.  Does that mean that one of them is not saved?  How sad is that?  And what about the Christian that knows the only way to get out of their covenant is to commit adultery who does that just to be able to justify getting a divorce? 

I know someone who I thought was saved, a woman, who forced her husband to abandon the church that he loved, and wanted to be a pastor in.  She refused to honour his role in the marriage, and because of a theological secondary issue, they left that church.  That was concerning for me, since secondary issues are not that important, and certainly not worth challenging the role of the husband.  But in time this same woman, and mother, thought that adultery was quite acceptable.  Even with a so-called 'pastor'.  She was so strict about secondary issues, but could not embrace the basic 10 commandments.  She broken her covenant with her husband, and with God, and has shown by example to her children, a horrible way to live.  Even worse, did not even try to repent or salvage her covenant.  She turned her back on God, her husband, and her children. 

You look at that situation, and you wonder how someone can focus on such a minor point in scripture, that many theologians don't even agree on, and yet the huge issues that affect every relationship you have, are casually dismissed.

Now the Calvinists would claim this person was never saved in the first place.  Others would say she has backslidden and chosen to reject God and the covenant she once embraced.  This is the kind of divorce that really breaks God's heart.  One person is living an honest, open life for Him, the other is living a lie.  It breaks my heart too.  I hope the children look to their father as a role model.  He has survived and continued to honour God, who is now blessing him and rewarding him.

The Calvinist would say that this was an unequally yoked marriage right from the start, even though they both claimed to be Christians when they were married.  Others might suggest that the woman has chosen to reject God, reject her covenant with her husband, reject her covenant with God, and reject her responsibilities as a wife and a mother.  It is a situation where Hebrews describes so strongly against.

It is easy to act honourably when things are going well.  It is in the hard times that your character reveals itself.  So much of divorce is pride and self.  And what society in history has ever tried to justify pride and self-importance than today?